Well, isn't this a loaded questions for week 2?
First and foremost, I want to say, as usual, NO JUDGEMENT HERE. We're adults. They're called adult relationships for a reason. Consent, is consent, is consent.
We've all been there. Happy one minute not a thought in their direction, and BOOM, our whole life implodes. We have the tendency to hold onto the happiness that we've experienced in the past, especially when you are moving in a different direction than you were before. In the case of this follower, she states that she is a single mother, which gets lonely, but its more than that. Its complicated to balance motherhood and find time to date seriously, let alone have a "lover" that you don't intend on bringing into your homestead or introducing to your brood.
You have probably found happiness in your child, sure, but sometimes you find yourself wondering if you would be wandering down the same path. I think its certain you'd still be growing, but toward a different beam of light. It's important to keep your roots planted firmly in your own pot, but its okay to stretch out sometimes.
What I'm getting at here, is that you need to learn to love yourself, learn to love being alone, and find happiness in it. For the next 18 years of your life, you are going to find some moments where you question the depth of your relationship with yourself. You'll wonder if there are other people and other things that could occupy your time, but in the end, you are the only person responsible for your own happiness.
Who doesn't love a good make out session or amazing sex? It can cheer you up and burn those calories, but there are PLENTY of other activities that are equally as stimulating. Am I saying don't get back out there and find yourself a good time? Absolutely NOT! What I am saying, is that you might think that this is about missing the touch of a human that knows your hot spots all too well, but if you look at the bigger picture, it looks like there may be more to it than that!
You mentioned in your question his success with another woman and their growing family and home. Is is possible that you are envious? Is it possible you feel a void, and when you look at them you notice how deep it truly is? Sure, this person was just a late night "You up?" text, but is there possibly more to this than meets the eye?
Again, NO JUDGEMENT HERE, but it sounds like you may still be mourning the loss of portions of your live, and thinking back to a time when things were much simpler. Believe me, I've been there. You start to retrace your steps, trying to sort out what went wrong. Are you happy now? YUP! Is it a different kind of happy? Yep.
It's kind of like when you bake yourself a pretty cake. You are so proud of yourself, and then you take a piece out, sure it tastes good for a moment, but then you come back to that cake later, and it doesn't look as good, and you think, i'll just take another piece. That will remind me of how awesome I am! Eventually you are out of cake, and there is nothing but crumbs. In this scenario, you give away a part of yourself with every major life change that you make. And sometimes we forget that we can always just bake another cake.
And now I want cake. Sweet.
Anyways, back to you, reader. Here's the thing. Forget about him. Stop comparing your sweet cake of a life to his. Stop remembering what that old cake tasted like, and find yourself a new damn cake. A better cake. Maybe, when you are ready, a cake you can bring to family reunions and home to mom. A cake that feeds your life and nourishes your soul so much that you'd even bring some home to your little one.
In the mean time, find stuff that makes you happy. Stuff that makes you grow. Things to be passionate about. When you find these actives, there might be other cakes... I mean guys/girls out there that enjoy the same things you do, and maybe you can find someone else to fill that roll for you, but just focus on you and your growth. Focus on other ways to make yourself happy and fill that void. Figure out what is really missing, and take time to heal. Just roll with the punches and know that someday, somehow, all the pieces of your new cake will go to people that deserve them and will enjoy them, not just leave you starving.
Hope this helps! Check back for comments, and YOU'RE WELCOME!