I know that content on this site has been lacking, and you deserve no explanation, but I feel like I should give you one anyway! I am excited about part of it, and distraught about the other. The world works in mysterious ways!
For the last week or so, I’ve been working on getting the Roar Store set up, and listing all the customer paintings and items that I’ve got for sale, or can create. That’s been rather time consuming. I could ellaborate, but just like anything else in life, it would most likely only make any type of since to me, so I won’t. Just know, that bringing you the easiest shop to navigate, while focusing on photos for the items we have in stock, and estimating what I should charge for in country shipping has been time consuming.
As you may imagine, while working through this detail, life goes on. Within that life, are other complications. For instance, for the past 32 years, my life has revolved around family. We are extremely pack or tribe orreinted, and there hasn’t been a time in my life, where I wasn’t surrounded by multiple members of my tribe. As of 10am this morning, my family has sold the home we’ve lived in for decades and moved across the country, leaving me in my home state alone. This has had an interesting effect on me. I really want to be happy for their move. They are leaving the flood plane, and eventually disaster behind, and starting fresh, which is something I whole heartedly support. However, this leaves me, a people person with varying levels of mental disorders, to cope for the very first time, without any family. That might seem easy to do, if you have a regular group of friends, however, that is not the case. Sure, I have Alex, who is wonderful, and his mother and brother as well. I am grateful for that, but that bond is just now growing, and I can’t feel nearly as comfortable around them.
For a very long time, my sister was my best friend, and my mom was my soul supporter. She understood my mental capacity, and was easy to talk to when I needed someone soft, to encourage me to do something difficult, or make changes that were ultimately necessary but I could not make on my own. While I am a grown adult, having council that you can trust, is really important. Living in the States with no health insurance, means my resources are lacking, and I only have them to run to on most days. When I was feeling down, or needed to socialize, but my depression wouldn’t let me shower or put pants on, shave or brush my teeth, I could always count on my sister to come over, and fill that need until I was able to do the other parts. This weekend was a good example. I was having a hard time, facing their leave today, and hadn’t had the energy to shower in days. I was boiling over with unexplained rage, and I knew that I needed to self care, before I lost myself. She came over, we played some games, and I felt MUCH better. I felt well enough to shower, and take care of myself, and I just don’t know how I will find that again.
I’m a survivor. I’m going to make it. BUT it’s just a lot easier when you have someone to help you through it. I have been working to provide support for them, while they sold the house, packed up, and cleaned out. I have more time with them gone, but please be patient with me, while I find my footing here, and know it might take a little extra time to get back on track, and start posting more regularly. This site, and all the support it receives, is just one small stepping stone to getting back in the right place, but it might take sometime and patience to do so.
Thank you for your support and understanding!